Vote, Vote, Vote for Mark Ellis

Today I received an “Election Communication” in the form of a tract from one of our “Independent” candidates. Mark Ellis thinks we should all vote for him because he has four science “A” levels; he attended Bristol Veterinary College; he was a “Friend and helper of Vice Marshall Bennett [who lost his deposit in the 1967 Nuneaton By-Election as a candidate for the now defunct far right British Party] who, apparently, “was aware of a frightful conspiracy”.

This will be Mr Ellis’s fourth attempt to be elected to Parliament on an anti-Semitic platform. Ellis believes the Jews operate behind the scenes to implement their dastardly plans for world domination as outlined in the “Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion”. He doesn’t mention the Jews so he resorts to calling them “Khazars”, “Levantines” and “Cons” (Old-Cons as opposed to Neo-Cons).

These men in the shadows are responsible for all that is wrong with Britain from postal voting frauds to the closing of “1/3 of our railways”. The closing of railways is, according to Ellis, particularly perfidious because railways “stimulate interest in mechanisms”.

So, if you live in Sevenoaks and have half a mind to vote for an anti-Semitic conspiracy theorist, that’s all you’ll need.

To see Ellis' Election Communication click here.