So you want to boycott Israel? Be consistent.

Anti-Israel organizations like BDS (Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions) are becoming more aggressive. The 7th Annual Israeli Apartheid Week was held in 50 cities around the world in March, with most events taking place on college campuses.

Shopping centres were also a target. Leaflets featured graphic images of bleeding Jaffa Orange, Israel spelled as “Israhell” and pictures of Palestinian children covered in blood alongside the slogan “Shopping can kill”.

There are a lot of people who want to boycott Israeli goods or avoid anything that originates with Jews. I wouldn’t mind if such people were consistent but it’s very difficult to consistently avoid everything Jewish because almost everything important in life today was either invented or developed by Israelis or Jews.

The world would be poorer without the Jewish contribution to music, film, television and stage. “Yes”, I can hear you say, “but apart from great classical music, jazz, pop music, drama, comedy, and Hollywood blockbusters, what else have the Jews ever done for us?”

How about the discovery of Digitalis by Adolph von Baeyer who synthesized the drug in 1864.

If you have toothache and have to visit the dentist, remember to insist that he doesn’t use cocaine as an anaesthetic, because that was discovered by a Jewish ophthalmologist Karl Koller.

Do you have Diabetes? Have you been using Insulin? You naughty, inconsistent boycotter, you. Better stop taking it right now because insulin was discovered by Oscar Minkowsky, a Jew.

If your kids have never had diphtheria, be grateful to Selman Waksman.

And let’s not get into cures for Syphilis and Gonorrhea!

So, remember, if you are going to proudly and consistently boycott all things Jewish, you’ll have to avoid all Jewish music, movies, plays, discoveries, inventions and wonder drugs.

And, by the way, you’d better get rid of the PC or mobile phone on which you are reading this because the Pentium chip and other inventions that link you to your friends and fellow boycotters were invented by Jews.

Oh! Don’t go to church either, because there you’ll be worshipping the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob through the Jewish Messiah, Jesus.

Boycott, Divest and Sanction all you want but at least be consistent. Boycott everything Jewish but know you’ll have to do it without the aid of your laptop and mobile phone, and without the benefit of life saving medication. And when you want to relax, don’t watch a colour TV and don’t go to movies produced by MGM, Warner Brothers, or Twentieth Century Fox. And don’t turn to Jesus as your only hope of forgiveness and salvation; he’s Jewish too.

I wish you the best of luck for your short, boring, spiritually hopeless and barren life. You’re going to need it.